She stood, just staring. She wondered how weird she looked just standing there. She took a break from her fascination to check for any critics. But there were none. There was just the same deserted street she had come into a few moments ago. The sun was setting and the sky was painted with the most beautiful blend of pink and orange she ever saw. The air smelled sweet from the ongoing cookie factory not too far from her. She inhaled the deepest breath she could through her nose and let the sugary scent come into her senses. Once her nose decided it was pleased she turned back to her preoccupation. Her old elementary stood before her.
She imagined what it must look like for preschool and kindergarten students. She imagined it seemed enormous and a little scary. Her mind raced back to when she was in kindergarten, as if it happened yesterday. Weaving her way through all the upper grade kids that seemed to tower her in height, never looking happy to be there. But now she only saw a familiar sight that felt like her second home. She missed it.
Noise off in the distance caught her attention. Thinking she was hearing things she ignored it. Then she heard the noise again but closer. Knowing now that her ears were not deceiving her she turned in the direction of the noise. A girl who looked to be around her age was walking in her direction. She was short and plump and her short black hair moved with the breeze. At first she thought the girl would walk passed her but as the girl got closer she knew that the girl was walking to her. She didn’t know who this girl was. She tried to pay close attention and try to identify her by her facial features but her memory failed her. Maybe this was a stranger asking for help or some crazy person ……. Or a dangerous person. She forced herself not to come to that conclusion. She decided she was just being crazy because of the stranger danger lessons she got fed as a child. As the girl became within four feet of her she asked
“Sylvia is that you. Do you remember me?”
I stood there not saying anything. A puzzled look on my face must have informed her of my memory block.
“You seriously didn’t forget me did you? I’m Elizabeth I used to be your best friend..ringing any bells?”
Memories of her old school days with her companion started flooding her brain. She wondered where those memories were a few seconds ago.
“Hey Elizabeth. Wow you look really different.”
She did indeed look different. Her now short black hair was long and brown. Although it was the only thing that changed about her appearance it played as a master of disguise, masking was once used to identify her.
“I know. You would know what I looked like if you kept in touch with me like we said we were going to do.”
“Yeah, everything has just been crazy. Have you visited any of our old teachers?”
“Yeah. I usually come and see them when I’m picking up my little brother or have time to. How about you?”
“I saw them once but only for a few minutes.”
“Well did you just forget about everybody?”
“ NO. I…..”
There goes the question. The one Slyvia wished wasn’t asked. She tossed possible answers around in her head and then decided to really think about the question. It’s not that she forgot. She thought about her past often. There was something that she just didn’t want to revisit. Graduation was the end. Nothing would be the same. She had other things to move on to. So once it was the end she was gone.
“Saying good-bye was just easier I guess.”
I like the story it really makes me reflect on my own memories of elementary school and how we grow up and move on with our lives. It also makes me think about friendships I lost and how it is easier to just not try and rekindle any of them.
ReplyDeleteThe story was written with good description but I was a little confused by the dialogue. I got lost in who was speaking. So if you could clarify that it would help reading this go more smoothly.
You wrote the story in third person but you abruptly switch to first person in the fifth paragraph and the dialogue. I think that it would be best to stay consistent throughout the story.
Also, in the third paragraph you switched the tense to past tense when you wrote this line," At first she thought the girl would walk passed". I believe it should be pass. Review for tense and keep it consistent. Overall it was a great story.